Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
