why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
