but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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