it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
