so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
