1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
