her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
