i don't like sucking hair
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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