the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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