I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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