physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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