I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's the barista slut.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
