I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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