what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
