You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
