You made me cry and you don't even care
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize