Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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