It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize