marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
