Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
