Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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