omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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