He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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