Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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