Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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