The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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