Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
