Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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