Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
