It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
