why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
