I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
