there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we're so committed to being not committed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
