This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
