When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My ATM looks so different sober.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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