make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
