i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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