Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need to calm my uterus...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
