Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
