Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize