I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
