Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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