Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
