I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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