While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
