i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Walk of Shame today included voting.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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