I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
