so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
