two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
