my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I need moral support for this bender
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
wow bdsm is so cute
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
