hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
