Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
