used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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