everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have tasted many bathrooms
i believe in u and ur pee
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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