I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize