Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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