i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
