And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
