went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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