Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
