I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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