My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
