so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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