whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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