Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
